The Unheard words of new writers...

situation seven: the moves

I get onto the dance floor, and I start moving. I can’t move too fervently though – people will gawk. One must understand that in this type of club, its not about who can pull off the hardest moves, it’s more about who can look the coolest. I remember seeing people pull off audacious moves at parties I went to when I was younger. In bashments however, 'shocking out' is a problem for a man – he risks drawing attention to himself, leaving him susceptible to criticism and humiliation. I don’t want to be made a fool of, and I don’t want people laughing at me. I think that my moves are smooth in front of the mirror, but what if everyone else in the club doesn’t? The age of expression is over and with it go the options for abandoned enjoyment. To tackle this problem, we have set dance moves.

'Scooby Doo',
'toss a fire',
'rock away',
'signal the plane',
'pon the river, pon the bank'.

Everyone wants to dance. I would like to go ahead and dance. But too many times, I have been in situations where people have squashed my enthusiasm. Too many black people in these types of raves make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. I have had people look at me with that,
'why-are-you-moving-like-that' look.

Last week, in response to my friend’s dancing, I heard one woman say, 'what are you doing?' It all makes you wonder whether it’s worth trying anymore.

The dance floor slowly starts to fill up, and I have perfected tonight’s minimalist moves (to the effect that they remind me of IKEA).

I have remembered the most important facet of my façade; hold the smile. You see, a smile makes you look like you’re having a good time, and some believe there are only so many good times to go around. The implication is, what’s yours has been taken from what could have been theirs. And, this is why some black people are so LOST, because in hating others, they hate themselves.
When the police stop and search you, when the media vilify you, when you are oppressed by the establishment (institutions and the political system); who do you turn on?
Yourselves, of course!

Dealing with the enemy – your own black self – means suppressing the smile that makes you look weak, and adopting a ‘screwface’, which means you don’t give a f**k. As a result, you keep a mean looking, ugly,
‘Mike Tyson - just about - to - step - into - the - ring’,
’50 - cent - on - his - album - cover’, type of expression.

Nothing else will do. And, because I don’t want to get ‘brushed’, I have to look like that too. What would you do?

Vulnerability is the new black.